Glossary of Common FantasyShark Terms

This glossary serves as a reference for terms that you may see used in the FantasyShark forums.

All your base are belong to us - based on a horrific Japanese-to-English translation in the Sega genesis game Zero Wing. A long-running joke on the internet, it is often used at fantasyshark.net to emphasize something someone has taken from someone else or that you plan to trade for a player someone else has. All your Paul Pierce are belong to us.

Amon Ones - informal. the correct pronunciation of infamous NBA bench-warmer Damon Jones's name. Derived from the fact that he plays no D and has no J; therefore, those consonants are removed from his name.

aviator - [a-vee-a-torr] slang. avatar. FantasyShark contibutor GR8ONE54 thought they were called aviators. See:Mush

aviators are grounded - aviators aren't working. See: aviator

bish - [bihsh] slang. an alternate word for b*tch. Bish, I'm here to win basketball games!

burnt babies - subject of an infamous spam email that FantasyShark contributor GR8ONE54 believed to be true. Was at one time deemed off limits after it was revealed that GR8ONE had a deep personal connection to the email. The current status of the phrase is dubious. See: Mush

The Centaur - informal. proposed nickname for NBA player Dwight Howard by DIME. terrible idea. but so funny and ridiculous, that we decided to start calling him that. See: DIME

Chuck Norris - [Chuk Nore-iss] badass. Guns don't kill people. Chuck Norris kills People.The chief export of Chuck Norris is Pain. Chuck Norris has two speeds. Walk, and Kill. Do you know why Baskin Robbins only has 31 flavors? Because Chuck Norris doesn't like Fudge Ripple.

club a baby seal - slang. to grab a rebound in basketball. Dwight Howard clubbed 15 baby seals last night.

CLUTCH "______" - expression. used to emphasize a spectacular feat. CLUTCH DUNKS, CLUTCH COMMENTS, etc

DIME - Dime Magazine. A basketball lifestyle magazine that created a blog on foxsports.com that many users would comment on. Much like the Autobots, we left the DIME blog in search of more resources and crash landed at fantasyshark.net. DIME is known for supplying old news, inaccuracies, having an unhealthy addiction towards shoes, and worshipping J.J. Redd*ck.

DRIVEN - motivated. excessively motivated. so motivated to succeed that you'd publicly criticize your teammates as being terrible and the organization for not making enough moves (We're talking about Jason Kidd! "Ship Bynum's *bleeping* ass out"), ultimately demanding a trade even though you have a no-trade clause in your contract and then acting as if you're going to hold out, but ultimately playing anyway and completely abandoning your new role as "distributor." derived from the following:

See: DIME

Dusty - dustylaker. A former DIME blog contributor that was known for building a web of lies. A supposed wealthy black senior citizen record producer that was a die-hard Kobe Bryant/Los Angeles Lakers fan. Claiming to be half-black, Dusty never wasted an opportunity to refer to young black males as "peonparasites", "hoodrats", or "rapcrappers." Dusty also claimed to have played in the Cotton Bowl in his youth. FantasyShark.net founder AK47spiderman and moderator KDJS conducted some extensive research and determined that at one point, Dusty claimed to actually be none other than legendary Monkees' guitarist Michael Nesmith.

Enver Nuggets - Derived from the fact they also play no "D"

EPIC - No definition necessary.

~~fantasy ethics~~ - there are none. Derived from the idea that one fantasy owner should never deceive another owner in a trade. See: Fantasy Trade r*pe

fantasy trade r*pe - action. event of taking advantage of another fantasy team owner through an uneven trade. The fantasy trade "rapist" is often commended, while the trade "victim" is subject to repeated ridicule.

Fish - informal. nickname for Fantasyshark.net member RIDGE. Derived from a comment on the DIME blog in which RIDGE stated that his throat was as sore as if he had performed oral sex on a man for an extended period of time. See: "Sailors have reported fish that can swallow a man whole." Also see: Half Baked, film

Free kicks from DIME - A representative of DIME magazine offered a prize for the winner of the inaugural DIME fantasy basketball league in 2006-07. Fantasyshark Moderator nyace29 was victorious. DIME did not deliver a prize. They said that they could get him some free shoes, but all the free shoes that they get from venders are conveniently only in size 9, as ACE wears a size 12. As of the posting of this definition, ACE has not received his free kicks from DIME. See: DIME

imma finna - [um-ma fin-nah] expression. slang expression for "I intend to."

imma finna gonna - See: imma finna

interest gauger - noun A way of gauging another teams interest in a potential fantasy trade, see also "low-ball offer" Usage: I'm going to send you Jordan Farmar for Tony Parker as an interest gauger

knee salad - [nee sal-uhd] entree consisting of one or numerous knees to the face. Originated by Jiggz Hovito's KO's of the Day. cousin of the Knuckle Sandwich

KVH - abbreviation. Keith Van Horn. Responsible for the downfall of NBA players. Everyone knows that KVH was renting that room in Vail, CO before Kobe had it!

Lil Spidey - [lihl spy-dee] son of FantasyShark.net founder AK47spiderman. Spidey is believed to be a toddler, however, his actual age has yet to be revealed. Many believe Lil Spidey to be a myth.

LOTL - acronym for Lord of the League. a blog created and written by FantasyShark contributor Mean Dovine that awards an intangible annual NBA award of the same name to an NBA player based upon Mean Dovine's determination of his and his team's performance.
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low-ball offer - noun An incredibly unfair fantasy trade offer you send to another manager, in hopes to obtain a fantasy trade r*pe. Usually sends receiving owner into a fit of rage. see also: "interest gauger" Usage: Practically every offer that HG sends out is a low-ball offer

Make your time - See: All your base are belong to us

MARVEL - informal. used as an introduction for one's self upon entering a forum discussion. A tribute of sorts to the blogger formerly known as MARVEL.

markholly@velvetproductions.com - Dusty's supposed email address. Often used as a dummy address when sarcastically giving out your email address. See: Dusty

Mush - [muhsh] informal. nickname for fantasyshark.net contributor GR8ONE54. Derived from the high number of fantasy sports players on his fantasy sports teams that succumb to devastating real-life injuries. See: Mush Curse; A Bronx Tale, film

Mush Curse - phenomenon that any player that Mush has on his fantasy team is liable to succumb to some devastating real-life injury. See: Mush

Night Swim - evening forum conversation in the Shark Tank portion of the website. Night Swim begins around 6pm EST and lasts until morning. It is typically more laid back and sports focused than the daytime swim and involves conversations ranging from commentary on live games, betting on game outcomes for eProps, and occasional web gems to be shared.

'Tis the time when the sun begans to set in the west. A time when darkness waits, lurking just beyond the eastern horizon. A time when the silence in the water is deafening, and the blood in the water is abundant. A time to lock your windows, close your doors, and put the little fishes to bed. They will come. Who is this they I speak of? It's them. The Lords of darkness. The Vampire Sharks. Can you hear them? They have been there all day. Watching and waiting in the shadows to make their time. Their time is now. Will you stand your ground and earn your place to become one of the many? Or will you run and hide only to be stalked, sought out for a clutch dinner?

There is no escape. They will find you. They own the night.

peonparasite - [pee-on-pair-a-sight] slang. See: rapcrapper, Dusty

PlayaCoach (PC) - informal. IsiahThomas. not only is he a playa, but he's also a (former) coach.

pork faggot - noun. traditional meatball made from ground pig heart. considered a delicacy in the United Kingdom.
See:

rapcrapper [rap-crapp-err] slang. young, usually black, male that enjoys basketball and rap music. Thug. Hoodrat. See: Dusty

Size 9 Kicks - See: Free kicks from DIME

Sonned - [sund] action Owned.

Snake Eggs - 1. nickname for NBA star/rap artist Ron Artest. In reference to an article in the Wall Street Journal referring to how Artest asked an assistant to remove the "giant snake eggs" from his backyard. They turned out to be mushrooms. 2. a throw-in player of little to zero value in a fantasy trade. He traded Danny Granger for Manu Ginobili, two baseball cards, a pack of gum, and some snake eggs.

Sneakers in the Mail - See: Free kicks from DIME

Tell me how my azz taste - smack talk, used usually when you have done something that you feel a particular need to gloat over. After being down big early in the week, I came back and won the matchup. Tell me how my azz taste! See: Shaq's freestyle rap to Kobe

You have no chance to survive make your time - See: All your base are belong to us